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Teenage Glossary







Essentials of Teenage Sexuality

Who, What, When, Where, Why, How?

WHO: The answer to "who"-- is every teen (adolescent). You are not alone in having to deal with your sexuality. Every teen is now facing the confusion and tension of somehow managing his or her sexual drive. Yes, every teen is on edge about this big question in their lives!

Even religion does not exempt any teen from having to deal with your sexuality. Every teen who is Hindu, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, humanist, agnostic, atheist or other religious belief (or "none") still is faced with the personal side of your own sexual drive.

Adolescents around the world are facing the growing and changing sexuality within themselves. Because you're a teen yourself, you naturally are participating in this exciting and difficult experience.

WHAT: Every teen has a number of "what's" as part of his or her sexuality. Some of you are afraid to do anything--even to admit to your feelings. Some of you are "out of control" and don't know how to manage your feelings or actions. Neither extreme gives you a decent chance to make the best of your sexuality.

Some of you are into unprotected sex--which is actually dangerous-even stupid. While some other teens are trying to pretend that they have no interest, or even curiosity, in their sexuality. This is not too bright either because your sexuality is an important part of you as a person.

WHEN: You don't really have much to say about the "when" of your sexuality. Maturing sexuality will develop naturally at different times for different people. Don't be afraid that you're behind somehow!

You don't really have much to say about the "when" of your sexuality. Maturing sexuality will develop naturally at different times for different people. Don't be afraid that you're behind somehow!

Your own sexuality will start becoming more and more noticeable to you when you body decides for you that it will. You might as well just accept your body's timing, because anything else is fake. Just because your friends say that they're so interested in sexuality doesn't mean that you are yet.

WHERE: The answer is that anywhere you are is where your sexuality will be part of you. Your feelings are just as real at school, home or even the beach.

It may seem that your sexual emotions are different at different places. But, they've always been in you from one location to another. What counts is how you manage you feelings at particular places. 

Just because you're in a location away from home doesn't mean that someone can make you do something sexual that you don't want to. Just as you're in charge at home, you still equally have the right to decide on a date about your own sexuality. Because you're at someone else's house doesn't give them the right to tell you what to do.

WHY: The "why" of sexuality is one of the great mysteries of life. Of course, the scientists say that it's all a matter of physiological chemical changes that produce human sexuality changes. However, for most teens, their sexuality is more to them than just "science."

Whatever the reason for your sexuality, it's real and you are like millions of other teens who are facing the powerful feelings you have.

Another "why" is why try to manage your sexuality anyway? Why not just do "whatever" in response to your sexual feelings and see what happens? The answer is that a "whatever" approach will frequently surprise you in ways that you did not want. So, it's best to manage your actions in response to your sexuality if you don't want to be surprised or even hurt.

HOW: If any of us knew exactly how to best manage our sexuality we'd be a millionaire--because no one else does either! Still, it's so important to us that we must try our best.

In fact, trying to do our best with this explosive area of our lives may well be the answer to "how." Teens facing adolescent sexuality pressures and surprises have many good sources of help. The important decision then is to go out and do your best to get and use the help that's available to you.

Decide in advance what type of actions are right for you. Consider and understand the importance of your lifetime of sexuality and make a promise to yourself to stay within the boundaries you have set. Ask for help from others. They can be your parents, a trusted friend, or even a group that you trust to be part of your effort to manage your sexuality. Some teens have taken part in a public pledge to wait until marriage for sexual activity. Others have shared their personal plans with others who feel like they do to help them avoid the natural temptations of sexuality.

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